Circling The Bowl: The 2008 Cleveland Browns

Things just keep getting worse for the Cleveland Browns this season.

First, a slow start lead to replacing starting quarterback Derek Anderson with the untested Brady Quinn.

Quinn played fairly well, but his season ended early with a broken finger.

So it was back to Derek Anderson at QB for Romeo Crennel's troops.



Ouch.

Anderson hurt his knee during the fourth quarter of today's 10-6 loss to the Indianapolis Colts.

Word is that he is now out for the season.

Yeah.

So the Browns are now stuck with former Miami Hurricanes QB Ken Dorsey and kick return specialist Josh Cribbs, a college QB at Kent State, as their only current options for next week's game at Tennessee.

If that weren't enough, tight end Kellen Winslow was injured again. No big surprise there.

Finally, ESPN's Chris Mortensen is reporting that Browns head coach Romeo Crennel will need a miracle to keep his job into 2009. Good luck with that.

Remember that old saying, "If it's brown, flush it down"?

Ladies and gentlemen, your 2008 Cleveland Browns!

Bring back Bernie Kosar!

Sidney Crosby Almost Fights Again, Instead Scores Hat Trick

It was a pretty good November for Sidney Crosby and the Pittsburgh Penguins.

They finished the month with a record of 9-2-1, well enough to see them rise to second place in the standings behind the New York Rangers.



Sidney Crosby finished November playing like a beast with 9 points in 3 games, including his second career hat trick. He saw himself and teammate Evgeni Malkin begin to pull away from the pack in the NHL scoring race. Sid also got a little feisty and scrapped a little with one of the Devils. If he would have dropped the gloves, he would have collected his first "Gordie Howe" hat trick. Instead, he just flexed and kissed his bicep.



The Pens next play on Wednesday, December 3 at the New York Rangers.

Good times.

Baseball Trade Rumor: Jermaine Dye to Reds?

After finally getting rid of Ken Griffey Jr., Adam Dunn, and their salaries, the Cincinati Reds are rumored to be seeking a trade with the Chicago White Sox for outfielder Jermaine Dye.



Really?

Wasn't he supposed to be good in like, 1995?

Don't get me wrong, I like the idea of trading Homer Bailey. His career has been going nowhere ever since my co-worker and I kicked him out of the bar where we work when he was a member of the minor league Dayton Dragons (A). Why did we kick him out? He was 19. How did he get in? He had a pretty good fake ID. He was actually pretty cool about it.

Fans like myself have been hoping for years that the Reds would get rid of their high-priced dead weight. They finally do, and now ownership wants to pick up a 35 year-old outfielder who has an 8-digit salary ($11.5 million).



Grab the nose, Mitch Kramer. I can't believe it either.

Hand Collated has some thoughts on the Dye rumor and more.

Personally, I think the Reds should avoid temptation and tough it out with the young kids. Decent outfielders are a dime a dozen. You can always find one to hit .280 with 20 home runs. They need to concentrate on the bullpen and solidify the infield. How should they do that, you say? Dump Edwin Encarnacion and figure out who will play shortstop and third base.

Get it.

Happy Thanksgiving.

"Badger" Bob Johnson, 17 Years Later

Thanks to Going Five Hole for reminding us that today marks the 17th anniversary of the passing of former Penguins Head Coach "Badger" Bob Johnson. He was 60 years old.

If you didn't already know, "Badger" Bob Johnson is the inspiration behind the Pittsburgh Penguins' marketing campaign: "It's a great day for hockey."



Bob's only season with the Penguins resulted in a Stanley Cup championship.

I remember when he died, I was 14 years old. I cried.

Here is a Post-Gazette recap from the 10th anniversary in 2001.

The Penguins wore this patch during the 1991-92 season in honor of "Badger" Bob Johnson:



It's a great day for hockey.

Islanders suck.

Go Pens.

YouTube Video - Matt Cooke

Because the Pens haven't played since, I don't know, Halloween, here is a Matt Cooke compilation video from his days with the Canucks. Enjoy.



Flyers suck.

Avoid www.freecandy.com at Work

One of my favorite blogs is affectionately known as the Pensblog.

Those guys are awesome.

As you may already know, they (and their loyal readers!) have given Penguins defenseman Brooks Orpik the nickname 'Free Candy'.

I guess someone thought he looked like a child molester in last year's team photo.



He did.

Anyway, I promise that this story is going somewhere.

Being a hardcore Penguins fan can be both exhilirating and exhausting.

Speaking of hardcore, I was wondering if someone had started a Free Candy website in honor of Brooks, so I typed in www.freecandy.com.

Mistake # 1.

Apparently that magic combination, www.freecandy.com, is the perfect web address for a porn site.

Great.

So a porn site is preventing someone from starting a 'Free Candy'/Brooks Orpik fan site.

Not that I wanted to do it, but it would be nice for someone to have that option.

And with that, here is the greatest defensive shift of all time:



Thank you Free Candy, and goodnight.

Times Are Tough, But Not For My Fantasy Hockey Team

First of all, sorry about the small pic. I'm trying to figure out the best way to do this. Here are the current standings:

Team W-L-OT PCT PTS
1. Willow & Mr. Giggles 38-16-6 .683 82
2. Mifftown Isotopes 35-17-8 .650 78
3. Nothing Clever 32-24-4 .567 68
4. Whammy! 29-22-9 .558 67
5. milk me baby 29-25-6 .533 64
6. Bon Malkin 25-30-5 .458 55
7. Slump Busters 23-32-5 .425 51
8. Slightly Stroopid 19-31-10 .400 48
9. The Peacemakers 20-34-6 .383 46
10. Bling Bling 16-35-9 .342 41

My W & Mr.G squad continues to pace the league with 82 points. I realized this week that if I hadn't traded Malkin, I would have had the top 4 scorers in the league. Oh well.

As you can see, it really is a two team race right now between my W & Mr. G and Steve's Mifftown Isotopes.

My wife Amanda wants it to be known that her team would be challenging for first if not for the injuries: Brodeur, DiPietro, Kariya, etc.

I think the biggest move of the week was Amanda picking up Marian Gaborik off waivers. Lucky girl, if he ever plays.

Through Friday, Willow, Slump, Mifftown, Bon Malkin, and Whammy are absolutely dominating their games this week. Go team.

Oh yeah, and the Canucks beat the Penguins today, 3-1. I don't want to talk about it, but check out the clip of the huge fight from the game. Good times.

Deactivated: The Chad Johnson Story Continues

Cincinnati Bengals receiver Chad Johnson has been deactivated for tonight's game versus the Pittsburgh Steelers for violating a team rule.



Sorry, Chad. Times are tough.

We at Second Hand Sports tried desperately to find out exactly why # 85 was scratched from this installment of the Bengals-Steelers rivalry.

Cincy Jungle provided the only explanation. Chad Johnson overslept.

Not that any of this really matters. The Bengals are 1-8-1 and, even with Mr. Johnson, they aren't going to beat the Steelers tonight.

Here's our favorite Chad Johnson moment:



Way to beat that horse, Chad. Sweatpants.

Trading Places: Ohio State vs. Michigan

Remember way back when, when Ohio State couldn't beat Michigan...ever?

We do.

We also remember all those childish Michigan fans (who weren't really Michigan fans, they just were anti-Ohio State fans) giving downtrodden Buckeye fans a hard time.



It's payback time.

Ohio State is favored by 20 points.

20.

That's right, 20.

It is fair to say that most of us never expected to see that against Michigan.

20. (Check USA Today for the current odds here)

That said, this is still a great rivalry for one reason: Michigan has the ability to beat Ohio State this weekend.

Sure, it would be near-miraculous. Pretty much everyone expects the Buckeyes to roll on Saturday. Thanks to The Buckeye Blog for alerting us that even Rich Rodriguez is hedging his bets for the game.

Dave over at Maize n Brew finds some positives in being 3-8 heading into the Ohio State game, and makes some excuses too.

Our prediction: Anything can happen, but Ohio State should roll at home. If the Wolverines win, consider it the biggest moral victory of all-time. Go Bucks.

How to Kiss Your Sister, NFL Style

(Sigh)

Today's game against the Cincinnati Bengals was supposed to be a walk in the park for the Philadelphia Eagles.

Unfortunately for everyone involved, it was...a walk in the park with your sister that turns into one passionate kiss.



4 hours of your life that you will never get back.

No, Donovan McNabb and the Eagles did not destroy the Bengals. It was much more difficult to watch than that.

In a blistery Paul Brown Stadium, each offense stunk up the joint. So much so that neither team could score during the sudden-death overtime. That means that the defenses looked good.

Awful.

Every person who sold his/her ticket for this game should thank those proverbial lucky stars.

This was the first tie game in the NFL since 2002.

Isn't it about time for the NFL to adopt an equal opportunity overtime policy, such as the one in NCAA football?

Hooray! Fantasy Hockey Saturday!

In an attempt to avoid discussing the Barry Melrose firing for another day, I'm going with Fantasy Hockey talk. Here's the story: I'm only in one league. I know everybody in the league. I dominate. Not really, but I am in first place. Yahoo! rocks.

Here are the up-to-the-minute standings of the Whack It Fantasy Hockey League:



My boys, Willow & Mr. Giggles, currently reside at the top, followed by this league's version of the Tampa Bay Lightning (because Adam, the owner, is clueless), and W & Mr. G's biggest rival the Mifftown Isotopes.

As you can see, W & Mr. G have the luxury of taking on Blake's last place Bling Bling squad. Easy street.

I would like to note that Sidney Crosby, Alexander Semin, and Marc Savard are largely responsible for W & Mr. G's success. Thank you and goodnight.

Random Video of the Day

Yes, he was exiled to Siberia when he was moved from his television play-by-play gig to the radio side, but Mike Lange remains a Penguins icon. Here are some of his legendary calls:

Penguins 7, Red Wings 6 OT

Thoughts while watching the Pittsburgh Penguins come back from a 5-2 third period deficit to win in overtime, 7-6:

Good God almighty. The Rattlesnake is back.


Hockeytown? does anybody in Detroit even care? The Joe is down to half capacity by the end of the night.


Detroit gets all the calls. Unbelievable.

The Pens have been their own worst enemy. Too many bad penalties early.

Where was this Penguins team on that NYR-SJ-PHX-STL road trip? These guys seem to care.

Finally, a 5-on-3 ppg against the Red Wings.

I hate the Wings not only becuase of last year's Finals, but also because every fringe hockey fan claims to 'love' the Wings and they talk smack without knowing anything about hockey. Morons.
Whore.

The loss of Rob Scuderi is going to hurt.

These are two very good teams, when they want to be.

Jordan Staal will be an absolute beast some day very soon...

I used to like Swedish Fish, but then I remembered that the Wings are something like 1/2 Swede, and now they make me puke.

Versus' announcers are terrible. Emerick is the only one worth listening to. Their studio guys suck too. Yes, even Engblom. But, at least you can still enjoy the video:


Evgeni Malkin might have the best slap shot of any forward in the league.

That Ryan Malone commercial is horrible. And it's for next week's Penguins game on Versus.

Thank you and goodnight!

Sports Greatest Mullets

Here are some of my favorites!

The Midget Basketball Mullet


The "Wild thing" Mullet


The "Hockey Star" Mullet


The "Bird Killer" Mullet


The "Stone Cold" Mullet


And last but not least "The Rocky Top"

Athlete Profile: Paul Bissonnette

Paul Bissonnette, aka 'Biz Nasty', is a forward/defenseman for the Pittsburgh Penguins of the National Hockey League.

He hits people.

Hard.



A fourth round pick of the Penguins in 2003, Bissonnette spent a lot of time in the Minors.

He knows the route between Wheeling and Wilkes-Barre/Scranton like Clark Griswold and the family truckster know the way to Wally World.



Good times.

Our Opinion: Biz Nasty has worked his way up through the system and earned his spot on the team. His contributions are mostly going to be in the physical aspect of the game. That said, I would like to see him in the lineup more often. He has zero points and 10 penalty minutes in 6 games. For his complete stats, click here.

MVP #3?

Is Kurt Warner an MVP candidate?

I used to wish for his deal with the devil to expire. It apparently hasn't.

Truth be told, I drafted Warner in one of my fantasy football leagues this year (for the first time).

After realizing that Matt Leinart has no chance of becoming a good NFL QB, I stole good ol' Kurt in the last round of the draft.

After my backup defense.

People laughed.

Remember folks, those late-round picks in your annual FFL draft are the picks that help separate 'just-in' playoff teams from 'out'. Right now I am sitting at 'barely in'. I would hate to see my team's record without Warner, the guy who is in kahoots with Gozer, er, his wife Brenda.

Somebody please call Vince Clortho, Keymaster of Gozer.

Here's the Keys, Son

As you probably know by now, the Cleveland Browns have pulled the plug on starting quarterback Derek Anderson and replaced him with marketing sensation Brady Quinn. His sister is the least attractive 'hot chick' known to man. Ever.

Cleveland's loss to Baltimore on Sunday forced coaches and management to pull the trigger.

They panicked, says ESPN's Trent Dilfer.

The way we see it, the Browns could have Brian Sipe under center and it wouldn't really make a difference. This team is going nowhere until Braylon Edwards learns to catch the football and Romeo Crennel learns how to deal with Kellen Winslow. Whammy.

Lovable Loser

Golf's drunken son strikes again. John Daly was found passed-out drunk in front of a Hooters in Winston-Salem, North Carolina. He was arrested and held for 24 hours before he was released sober.

John Daly has been a train wreck for years. But for some reason golf and sports fans seem to think he is a likable guy.
Yes, I admit it is cool to watch him crank the hell out of a golf ball, but John has ruined his full potential professionally and more importantly his family life because of his addiction to alcohol.
When athletes like Darryl Strawberry, Lawrence Taylor, and Steve Howe continued to have substance abuse issues, the court of public opinion wanted to dump them from their respected sport.
So why doesn't the PGA do anything? Really, ANYTHING?
Suspend him from tournaments! Fine him! Make an example of him!
This is way overdue and I am ashamed for golf.
Golf, the gentleman's game?
Not in my book.

Everyone's #1 Target

CC Sabathia is a big free agent in more ways than one.



It will be a shock if he stays with the Brewers, no matter how much money they offer him.

Yes, the Yankees are probably the front-runners. They have more money than Tiger Woods.

But there is one team in particular that could use him more than any other.

Hold tight...

Get ready...

The Cincinnati Reds.

Just bear with me.

They have 4 good/great-potentially good/great right-handers already in the rotation (Harang, Arroyo, Cueto, Volquez).

Adding a dominant lefty, bona fide ace would seal the deal.

The young position players on the roster would feel a sense of urgency to win 'now'.

Seriously, if the Reds ever want to get out of their decade-long slump, they will sign Sabathia to a HUGE contract.

And Then There Was One

The Cincinnati Bengals were victorious for the first time this season.

They withstood a 16-point, fourth quarter flurry from Jacksonville to hold on for the win.

Against the Chicago Bears, the Detroit Lions were not so fortunate.



The Lions had scored 23 points in the second quarter to take the lead into halftime, 23-13. It would not last.

Chicago backup quarterback Rex Grossman, subbing for injured starter Kyle Orton, scored the go-ahead TD with just over 5 1/2 minutes remaining in the game. Bears win 27-23.

If you're like my wife, you're probably asking yourself, "Where the hell is he going with this?" Well, I'll tell you.

The Cincinnati win coupled with the Detroit loss leaves the Lions as the front-runner in the Chris 'Beanie' Wells sweepstakes (unless you can think of a WR they should draft #1...kidding).

But seriously, the current standings would leave the Lions with the number one pick in the draft next April. They would probably take a QB, if one worthy of the top pick is out there. Otherwise, Beanie Wells looks to be a pretty good alternate, if he is healthy.

Any thoughts?

The End of an Impressive Streak

40 consecutive years of making it to a bowl game, and the Michigan Wolverines streak is over with little more than a whimper.

Today's loss to Purdue dropped Michigan to 2-7. Nothing like suspense to add to the drama, right?

Truth be told, a few people saw this coming. The only thing that suprised us was the embarrassing loss to Toledo.